Unstable Defenses

I caved. I've had 8 weeks to decide, to prepare, to realize... and I caved. I caved! I told myself I was over Her, I told myself it was time to move on. My decision wasn't supposed to fall apart so easily.

I saw her today, it was the first time since she came back from vacation. She had new glasses. Just seeing her made my decision to stand firm and move on, my defense, seem like an unstable tower of Jenga pieces. I had been trying to forget Her, to not think about her; but i had spent so much time looking at her, trying to memorize her in case I never saw her again. Seeing Her again was like a tidal wave of emotion. It completely knocked me off guard. She's left me weak, vulnerable, and defenseless yet again. How She does it is still a mystery to me.

Today was supposed to be awkward, things were supposed to change, I was supposed to change. But today She's made me think about all the moments we've spent together. I'm falling back in Love with Her, but i don't know if i want to. Why does she do this to me.